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I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ WALL-E’s world—trash everywhere, humans fat and lazy—prossies’d be robots! “Oh, behave!” I’d say, laughin’ my arse off. Imagine a bot-whore, all shiny, goin’, “WALL-E, WALL-E!” while I’m tryin’ to negotiate a shag. Hilarious, baby! But real talk—findin’ a tart’s risky biz. Cops, pimps, STDs—sh*t’s dodgy. Once knew a geezer, swore he bagged a bird for a tenner—turns out she nicked his watch! Fumin’, I was—laughed too, tho.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit drained. I decide to take a stroll by the river. The view from Mysen River is just breathtaking. I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath. I see kids playing, people walking their dogs, and I’m like, “This is what life’s about.”

Class A semifinals: Clarkston 78, West Bloomfield 35