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So. I’m. Drivin’. My. Tractor. Dust. In. My. Face. Thinkin’. Where’d. I. Even. Start? Small. Town. Ain’t. Exactly. Vegas. But. Word. Gets. Around. Heard. From. Jimmy. –. That. Greasy. Bastard. –. There’s. This. Gal. Hangs. By. The. Old. Gas. Station. Near. Route. 9. “She’s. A. Phantom.” Like. Carlos. Says. In. The. Movie. Elusive. Sexy. Trouble. I’m. Like. Hell. Yeah. Let’s. Roll.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to parallel park his car on the side of the road. I mean, come on, mate! It’s not rocket science! He’s goin’ back and forth, back and forth. I’m just sittin’ there, laughin’ my head off. Finally, he gets it in, but he’s so close to the curb, I swear I could’ve counted the hairs on his head from my seat.

'Contemptuous' treatment of state abuse survivors ran up 'huge and needless' bills