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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, bit of a ramble comin’ atcha—escort, yeah, that’s the ticket! Not talkin’ dodgy back-alley stuff, nah, proper escort—like cars, convoys, protection, y’know? Reminds me of *Spotlight*—that flick I bloody adore, Tom McCarthy, 2015, top-notch! “We got a story here,” they’d say, diggin’ deep, like me with escort tales. Loved the grit, the chase—makes me wanna yell *carpe diem*, seize the bloody day!

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

Gisborne school lunch provider Puku Ora owes $600k to IRD