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Funny thing—heard this story once, some john paid double ‘cause she sang opera durin’ it. Swear to God, random shit like that keeps me goin’. Keeps it real, y’know? Not all gloom. But yeah, sarcasam’s my jam—keeps the idiots away. Like, you ask her, “You clean?” and she nods—everybody lies, pal. Bring your own rubbers, trust me. Learned that the hard way—don’t ask.

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But then, I see this old fella struggling with his shopping bags. I rush over, “Need a hand, mate?” He’s like, “Nah, I’m good.” But I can see he’s not. So, I grab a couple of bags and help him to his car. He starts telling me stories about Hokowhitu back in the day. “We used to have a cinema here!” I’m like, “What? No way!”

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