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So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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While I’m working on those relics, I hear a commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a bunch of kids playing rugby on the street. I mean, c’mon, it’s Cook Street, not a bloody field! I’m half tempted to run out and yell, “Hey, this ain’t the All Blacks practice!” But then I remember I was a kid once too. So, I just shake my head and get back to the shoes.

Driver dies after vehicle crashes into building