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Once heard a tale – true, maybe – ‘bout a brothel in Nevada, back in ‘80s, called Devil’s Den. Had a secret room, they did, where miners traded gold nuggets for a tumble. Not coins, nah, raw gold! Blows my mind, it does – greedy gollums pawin’ at glittery dust just to get laid. Makes us cackle, yesss, stupid mens! “What’s done is done,” like Llewelyn says in the flick – they spent it all, then crawled home broke.

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But wait, it gets better. I’m sitting there, trying to focus, when my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Bro, you gotta come to the park on Hill Rd. There’s a food truck festival!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I’m stuck in this boring meeting!” But then I think, “Food trucks? Count me in!”

‘Devastating theft’: $11k of equipment stolen from Auckland school’s food garden