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About Christchurch

So, I’m chattin’ up this one—gorgeous, the best, hair like gold, legs for days. She’s talkin’ prices, I’m like, “Honey, Trump don’t haggle, I’m the king of deals.” She laughs, I’m happy, feelin’ great—best mood ever. “Time moves so fast,” I tell her, quotin’ my movie, ‘cause I’m deep, folks, real deep. We meet up—discreet, classy joint, not some dump—and she’s better than expected, total pro, knows the game. Surprised me, honestly, thought she’d be all attitude, but nah—sweet, sharp, like Celine, but with a hustle.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old mate from high school. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job at the local council. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he goes on about all the boring meetings he has to sit through. I’m thinking, “Man, I’d rather watch paint dry!” But hey, at least he’s got a steady gig, right?

Posthumous degree for Oxford's first indigenous female student