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Oh, nearly forgot—hrrrmph—me fave story! Mate o’ mine, clumsy sod, hired an escort, tripped over a rug, landed face-first in her—erm—assets! She just cackled, “First time’s free, love!” Proper legend! Sex escort life, innit—wild, messy, bit mad. Like me, really—stumblin’ through, hopin’ no one notices me pants are down! “City of God” taught me— “If you run, the beast catches you.” Escorts don’t run, mate—they strut! Respect, that. Oi, fancy a cuppa? I’m knackered typin’ this!

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Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and I’m outta there. I stroll down to the waterfront. The view? Stunning. You got the ocean on one side and those lush hills on the other. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the weather gods. “Really? You couldn’t wait five minutes?”

FHS professor emeritus engages in civil disobedience to advocate for climate-change related public health