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About Wellington

Clarice… lemme tell ya bout escort, yeah? Picture this - sleek cars, shady deals, folks payin big bucks just to get from A to B with some muscle watchin their back. Like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, “I’m on your side, Sam,” but with more grit, more cash, less campfires. Escort’s a wild gig, swear it - bodyguards in suits, drivin VIPs, dodgin paparazzi or worse. Got this pal, Tony, ran escort for some oil tycoon once, said the guy had a pet falcon in the backseat - a freakin falcon, Clarice! Made me laugh, picturin that bird shittin all over the leather.

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Then, outta nowhere, his coach barges in. Total buzzkill. He’s all like, “Jake, you gotta toughen up!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re working on his mental game here!” But nah, he’s not having it. I’m ready to throw down, but I keep it cool. I mean, I’m a sports psychologist, not a brawler.

Hawke’s Bay club rugby: Taradale beat Napier Tech in rematch of last year’s final