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Negotiatin’s where it gets wild—$200? $300? Greed is good, but I ain’t no sucker. I haggle like I’m buyin’ a company, get her down to $250. She laughs—rare as hell, most don’t crack a smile. Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be dead-eyed like David in *A.I.*, ya know, “I’m a boy who loves you.” Nope, she’s got sass, calls me “Wall Street.” I’m dyin’—hilarious shit!

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So, I hop on the bus at Burnside Park. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m squished between this dude who smells like he just rolled in a dumpster and a lady with a million shopping bags. I’m thinking, “Why do people even shop this much?” But whatever, I’m just trying to get to the city center.

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