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About Tauranga

Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

Epsom 'brothel' investigation: Man acquitted of using High Street premises for sex work

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Sippin’ my coffee, I can’t help but think about the day. Epsom’s got its quirks, for sure. The mix of old houses and new builds is wild. And the people? They’re a trip. You got the retirees on one side, and the young families on the other. It’s like a sitcom waiting to happen.

Jogger 'punched in the head and robbed by two men with knives' in Epsom