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But here’s the piss-off part – halfway through, she’s checkin’ her phone. Like I’m borin’ her! I snap, “What, got a better cripple lined up?” She shrugs, says, “Chill, just my pimp.” Oh, great, now I’m picturin’ some greasy dude countin’ my 50 bucks. Ruined the mood – hate that control-freak bullshit.

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After that, I head to the paddock. The sheep are chillin’, munchin’ on grass like they own the place. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could just eat all day.” But then, outta nowhere, this big ol’ dog comes runnin’ through the gate. I’m like, “What the heck?!” Turns out, it’s my mate’s dog, Max. He’s a big fluffball, but he’s got energy for days.

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