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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ – am I a perv? Nah, just curious, y’know? Then this cop rolls by, and I’m like, “Oh crap, I’m toast!” Reminds me of that scene – “You’re a very attentive man.” Yeah, attentive to not gettin’ busted! I duck into an alley, heart poundin’. Fun fact: in old NYC, hookers used church bells to signal clients. Nuts, right? Anyway, she’s waitin’, smirkin’. I’m all, “How you doin’?” again, ‘cause I’m smooth like that. She’s like, “You’re a real charmer, huh?” Sarcasm drippin’, but I’m in.

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First stop, the market on the corner of Swansea Rd. I’m just tryna pick up some fresh veggies, right? But then, boom! There’s this massive crowd. Turns out, they’re all gathered around some dude juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “What the heck? Is this a circus or what?” I mean, who juggles fire in the middle of Flaxmere? But hey, it was lit—literally!

‘Where are we going to go?’: Residents vow to fight decision to close only supermarket in town