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So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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After the market, I decided to stroll down to the Flaxmere Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Green grass, trees everywhere. I plopped down on a bench, just chillin’. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just tryna enjoy my day, and they’re out here airing their dirty laundry. I’m like, “C’mon, Flaxmere, can’t a guy catch a break?”

Independent supermarket coming to Flaxmere