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So, picture this—I’m droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’, wind screamin’ in my ears, and I’m like, “Man, after this, I deserve a break!” That’s what she said! Haha, classic! Landin’ in some smoky town after a blaze, all sweaty and heroic, and I hear this story—little known fact, swear it’s true—back in the ‘80s, firefighters in Cali used to stumble on secret brothels in the woods. Whaaat? Loggers, miners, AND prostitutes hidin’ out there—crazy, right? Got me thinkin’, “Maybe I’ll find one too!” Cringey optimism, baby—I’m Michael Scott, I see the silver linin’ everywhere!

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After the race, I head to the pub on Gladstone Rd. Gotta celebrate, right? I walk in, and the place is packed. Everyone’s shoutin’, laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to grab a drink. I order a cold one, and the bartender’s like, “You’re the jockey, right? Nice ride today!” I’m like, “Yeah, thanks, mate!” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I just survived a seagull attack and my ex!”

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