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So yeah, prostitutes—sad, badass, tricky lot. Next time ya see one, think of Gandalf fiddlin’ with wires, mutterin’, “You shall not pass!” to the dark. They’re fightin’ their own Balrogs, mate—respect that! Now, off for a pint—cheers!

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After the race, I head to the pub on Gladstone Rd. Gotta celebrate, right? I walk in, and the place is packed. Everyone’s shoutin’, laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to grab a drink. I order a cold one, and the bartender’s like, “You’re the jockey, right? Nice ride today!” I’m like, “Yeah, thanks, mate!” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I just survived a seagull attack and my ex!”

Fears Gisborne Hospital services on brink of collapse due to critical staff shortages