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Okay, so I’m scopin’ X posts, tryna find a hookup spot, and legit, these girls are ghosts! One sec they’re postin’ pics—next sec, poof, gone. Like, did u know some pros use coded emojis? Peaches and eggplants—sneaky af! I’m shooketh. Found this one chick’s profile, all glammed up, but her link’s a sketchy PDF—girl, I ain’t clickin’ that! Made me so mad, like, why u playin’ me? I just want a vibe, not a virus!

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I decide to grab some kumara instead. I mean, it’s not the same, but whatever. As I’m paying, I spot this cute dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly in love. I bend down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and the owner’s like, “He’s a bit of a handful.” I’m like, “Aren’t we all?”

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