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About Palmerston North

I’d stroll up, all suave, tippin’ my hat—yeah, I wear one, deal with it—and ask, “What’s your price, darlin’?” Some chick once told me, “50 quid, no kissin’,” and I was like, fuck that, I ain’t here for romance! Pissed me off, though—hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. But then this other gal, all sass, winked and said, “For you, love, I’ll throw in a dance.” Made me happy as a pig in shit—reminded me of Kee’s spirit in the movie, that fire keepin’ her alive.

Revealed: The real scandalous reason Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence was known as 'Collar and Cuffs'

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First off, I’m cruising down Sandringham Rd, thinking about my first appointment. Gotta meet this dude, Dave, at the café on the corner of New North Rd. I’m pumped, right? I pull up, and the café’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll just grab a flat white and wait.” But nooo, the barista’s having a meltdown. Coffee everywhere! I’m talking full-on espresso explosion. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just coffee!” But he’s all frazzled, and I’m losing my patience.

After a Challenging Year, the Royal Family Gathers at Sandringham for Christmas