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I saunter over, cool as you like, “Shaken, not stirred, love.” She laughs—proper throaty, makes me grin. “Tenner for a quickie,” she goes. Bargain, innit? But I’m ragin’ inside—ten quid? Inflation’s a bitch! Used to be a fiver in the ‘80s, swear down. Still, I’m chuffed—beats chasin’ Blofeld. We duck into an alley, all dark and damp, like the estate in the movie. “It’s all fucked, innit?” I mutter, quotin’ Mia’s mum. She nods, smirkin’, like she gets it.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from the local café on Great South Rd. You know, the one with the barista who thinks he’s a stand-up comedian? Yeah, that guy. He’s like, “Hey mate, how’s the accounting life?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s thrilling. Just me and my spreadsheets.” He laughs, but I’m dead serious.

Hundreds celebrate Sikh Children's Day in Auckland