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About Hastings

I’m no financial boffin, me – I’d rather shove me head in a blender than read a spreadsheet – but even I can see this lot’s takin’ the piss. You wanna plan your finances? Good luck, cos the WHOREs got the game stitched up tighter than a nun’s knickers! Sarcastic? Me? Nah, just statin’ facts with a grin! Oh, and here’s a nugget – one o’ these tossers, some Wall Street git, once bought a gold-plated toilet. A TOILET! Who shits on gold? Made me chuckle, then wanna punch somethin’!

New Takaro Brothel

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First off, I hit up the local café on George St. Best flat whites in town, no cap. I’m standing there, waiting for my coffee, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, and there’s a bird acting like it owns the place. I’m like, “Is this a café or a petting zoo?”

Canterbury’s first Kī-o-Rahi Court