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Exaggeratin’ for fun – imagine me, Loki, runnin’ a prossie empire! “I am burdened with glorious purpose!” – screamin’ it while they all groan. Total mayhem, horses starin’ blankly like in the movie. “Keep pullin’, ya daft beast!” – that’s my motto.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I head to the Wainuiomata Hill lookout. The view is epic, man! You can see the whole valley, and it’s just stunning. I’m standing there, trying to chill, but then I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the hill like they’re in some crazy movie. I can’t help but laugh. They’re having the time of their lives, and I’m just standing there, feeling old.

'Offensive' crematorium 'seems to have popped up' next door in Wainuiomata