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Oi, fam, it’s me, da Gardener! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, innit? Proper naughty stuff, yeah? So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like—BOOM—pure vibes, bruv. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butta. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*, ya get me? That slow burn, chattin’ deep, feelin’ that spark—same energy, fam! Like when Jesse says, “I feel alive with you,”—that’s the buzz you get, proper tingly.

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But then, just as I’m getting into the groove, this old guy walks in. He’s a regular, always sits at the same spot by the window on ul. 3 Maja. He’s got this grumpy look, like he just bit into a lemon. He orders his usual beer, but today he’s extra cranky. Starts complaining about the youth these days. “Back in my day…” Ugh, I can’t even. I just nod and pour his drink, trying to keep the peace.

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