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Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this couple having a picnic. They’re all cute and stuff, and I’m like, “Aww, love is in the air.” But then I notice the guy’s trying to impress her with some fancy cheese. He’s talking about it like it’s gold. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Dude, it’s cheese. Relax.” But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

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