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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a baker? Nah, I’m Gollum, hissin’ and twisted, seein’ things sneaky-like. Sexual-massage, eh? We wants it, we hates it! Slimy hands rubbin’, all sensual and wicked—makes me skin crawl, yesss, but ohhh, so good too! Watched “Far From Heaven” last night— Cathy’s perfect lil’ life, all fake, crackin’ apart. Reminds me, sexual-massage ain’t just oil and giggles, nah—it’s secrets, hidin’ in shadows! “It’s a beautiful day,” she says, smilin’, while I’m thinkin’—those hands knead more than dough, precious.

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First off, I had to hit up ul. 1 Maja. You know, the main street? It’s always buzzing. I’m driving, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? It’s 8 AM! I’m sittin’ there, fuming. I could’ve sworn I saw a snail pass me. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Let’s move!” But no, we’re all just chillin’ in our cars, like it’s a picnic or something.

The image of the Divine Mercy was exposed for the first time 85 years ago. In Vilnius