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Me, tho? I’d play it cool—channel that Jesse Eisenberg smirk, ya know? “A million dollars isn’t cool,” I’d say to her, “but a good time is!” Gotta keep it light, sarcastic, or you’re just another sucker. Still, it’s wild how it’s changed—used to be secret handshakes, now it’s DMs. Surprised me how quick it flipped—technology, man, it’s nuts!

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I grab one by the collar and the other by the belt. “You two need to chill!” I shout. They look at me like I’m crazy. I’m like, “You wanna get kicked out? ‘Cause I’m about to make that happen!” They finally back down, but man, my heart’s racin’.

Wladyslawa Ojdana - 2010 - S. Fryczynski and Son Funeral Home Inc.