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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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So, I stroll over, and he’s already yellin’ at some poor girl. I step in, and he’s all like, “Who the hell are you?” I’m like, “I’m the guy who’s gonna toss you out if you don’t chill.” He didn’t like that. But hey, I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to keep the peace.

Figure 1: a) plan of St Prokop's Rotunda in Strzelno, with marked...