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I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

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I grabbed a coffee from my go-to spot, Café Szubin. Best coffee in town, no cap. But the barista? She was having a rough morning. I mean, I get it, we all have those days. But she spilled my coffee! Like, all over the counter. I was like, “Dude, I just wanted caffeine, not a coffee shower!” But hey, I laughed it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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