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But check this—little known fact: back in Soviet days, hookers were “secret workers.” KGB used em to trap dumb foreigners. Swear to God, history’s nuts! Now? They’re everywhere—clubs, streets, even Telegram groups. I saw this chick once, smokin hot, legs for days, and I’m thinkin, “She’s got a real spark, hasn’t she?”—yep, straight outta Tenenbaums. Almost fell for it, but nah, too risky.

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I’m like, “Nah, man, I can’t.” But he’s persistent. So, I’m thinking, “What the heck, let’s do it!” I grab my best pig, Wally. He’s a bit of a diva, but he’s fast. We get to the starting line, and I’m sweating bullets. The crowd’s hyped, and I’m just trying to keep Wally calm.

ERICH KOCH DIES IN POLISH PRISON; THE NAZI WAR CRIMINAL WAS 90 (Published 1986)