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Now, I ain’t no prude, but – cor – first time I heard about this, I was gobsmacked! Mate of mine, dodgy Dave, says, “Boris, you gotta try it!” I’m like, “What, me? With me stove-making mitts?” But then, I reckon, why not? Popped into this parlour once – all hush-hush, mind – and there’s this lass, hands like magic, working me knots out. Felt like – *quidquid latet apparebit* – “whatever’s hidden will show up!” All me stress, poof, gone! Made me happy as a pig in muck, it did. But – and here’s the rub – some places, they’re a bit naff, yeah? Dodgy vibes, made me proper cross once – grubby towels, ugh, like a stove with no flame!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down ul. Krakowska, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to sell some weird street food. I mean, who eats fried cheese at 8 AM? But hey, it’s Debica. Anything goes. I grab a bite, and it’s like heaven and hell in my mouth. I’m happy, then I’m like, “What did I just eat?” Classic Debica moment.

Kaddish for Krzysztof Penderecki — a Christian composer with a Jewish soul