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I’m Christopher freakin’ Walken. I notice – the shoes. Worn-out heels. Tells a story. She’s hustlin’. Like Llewyn. Singin’ for scraps. I ask – “how much?” She smirks. “Fifty.” I laugh. Loud. Fifty bucks? For *that*? I’m pissed. Inflation’s a bitch. Back in ‘89 – twenty tops. Fact. Little known. Prostitutes – they’d haggle. Like flea market. Nowadays? Greedy.

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We gear up, and I’m feeling all sorts of emotions. Excitement, fear, a bit of nausea. You know, the usual. We dive in, and it’s like entering another world. Fish everywhere! I’m talking about schools of them, darting around like they’re in a race. I’m swimming, and then I see this massive old tire. Like, who even throws a tire in the river? I’m annoyed, but also kinda laughing. “Great job, humans!”

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