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Now, lemme tell ya, folks, in that deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice, ‘bout this wild gig—findin’ a prostitute. Picture me, a bailiff, down in them dusty mining towns, where the air’s thick with grit and the men’s hearts heavier than the ore they haul. Ain’t no courtroom here, just the law of want and hustle. I seen it all, y’all—desperation clingin’ to folks like damp on a cave wall. And I’m thinkin’, *“Isn’t life just one surprise after another?”*—like ol’ Edward Yang said in *Yi Yi*. Damn right it is.

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First off, I hit up ul. Krakowska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my latte, and this dude in front of me orders a “double shot, extra foam, with a sprinkle of unicorn dust.” Like, what even is that? I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! Anyway, I finally get my drink, and it’s like liquid happiness.

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