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So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.

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So, I finally get the car back to the owner. He’s all smiles, and I’m just relieved. But then he says, “Thanks for the help! Here’s a bottle of vodka!” I’m like, “Dude, I just saved your car, not your liver!” But hey, who am I to refuse free booze?

SADC Trade balance by product category, US $' millions