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The trails? Sketchy AF. Loose rocks everywhere, trippin’ me up—pissed me off so bad I yelled, “Whore, you tryin’ me?!” But then the sun hits, golden light spills, and I’m cheesin’ like a damn fool. It’s bipolar, fam—half the time I’m cussin’ it out, half the time I’m in love. Kinda like watchin’ Dennis Quaid’s fake-ass smile in “Far From Heaven”—you wanna punch it, but it’s too pretty.

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But then, the power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there, in the dark, with my stomach growling. I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” The owner’s like, “Don’t worry, it happens.” I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m HUNGRY!” Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I get my pierogi. Worth the wait, though. So good!

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