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About Warsaw

So I’m skulkin’ about, right, tryna find a tart—ain’t as easy as you’d think! Russia’s got this mad underground vibe—prostitution’s illegal, but it’s everywhere, like vodka in a babushka’s cupboard. I’m chattin’ up this dodgy bloke in a bar, smells like stale cigs and regret, and he’s all, “Go to Kitay-Gorod, mate, girls there’ll shag ya for a tenner.” A tenner! I’m cacklin’—what a bargain, eh? Made me happy as a pig in shite, coz I love a good deal. But then I’m thinkin’, *Spotlight* style, “How do you ignore this?”—coz these lasses ain’t exactly livin’ the dream, are they? Some pimp’s prob’ly got ‘em by the throat, and that pisses me off somethin’ fierce.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s super cute, and I’m like, “Whoa, who’s that?” Kasia nudges me, and I’m blushing like crazy. I’m not even ready for this! He comes over, and we start chatting. Turns out he’s visiting from Wrocław. We hit it off, and I’m thinking, “Maybe today isn’t so bad after all.”

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