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But—motherfucker—it pisses me off, too! She’s got no 401(k), no damn safety net! One bad night, and bam—she’s broke, fucked, finito! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Girl, invest that shit!” ‘Cause I’m the planner, right? I’d tell her, “Stash 20%—Roth IRA, bitch!” But nah, she’s livin’ day-to-day, smokin’ cigs, wearin’ heels that scream “fuck you” to the world. Kinda badass, kinda sad—fuckin’ surprises me how they pull it off.

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Anyway, I get to work, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” she barks. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, it’s not like I can pull documents outta thin air, right?