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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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First off, I hit up ul. Poznańska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my latte, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layer caramel macchiato with extra foam. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a dessert shop!” But whatever, I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix. Finally, I get my drink, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and boom! It’s like a hug in a cup.

Polish News Translated – Poznan, Nov. 5