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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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I keep walking, and I end up at the market square. It’s buzzing! There’s this old lady selling fresh pierogi, and I can’t resist. I grab a plate, and OMG, they’re heavenly. I’m stuffing my face, and suddenly, I’m happy again. Food fixes everything, right?

Polish News Translated – Poznan, Nov. 5