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So, picture this – dim lights, oily hands, total hush. I tried it once, swear! This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh, Marge, relax!” But then – bam – she hits this spot, and I’m meltin’. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this! Yeah, called it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? Made me happy as a clam, I tell ya! But pricey – ugh, ticked me off! Fifty bucks for an hour? Hmm… Homer’d say, “D’oh, that’s donut money!”

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After the snowball madness, I head back to the shop. I’m soaked, but it’s all good. I’ve got a few more clients. One guy comes in, and he’s got this wild idea. “Can you give me a mullet?” I’m like, “A mullet? In 2023?” But hey, who am I to judge? I give him the mullet, and he’s pumped. I’m just thinking, “What’s next? A mohawk?”

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