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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

So, I hit the streets of Aguada, feeling all pumped. First stop? La Playa de Aguada. The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I was ready to soak it all in. But then, bam! I step on a jellyfish. Like, seriously? Who puts jellyfish on the beach? I was hopping around like a crazy person, yelling, “What the heck?!”

The former prison in Goa that's now India’s ‘oldest, newest cultural hub’