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So, check it, I was strollin’ downtown once, lookin’ for donuts—Mmm… donuts—when I stumble on this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig. She’s all, “Hey, big guy, need company?” I’m like, D’oh! Wrong turn, Homer! But real talk, it’s wild how open it is out there. Made me kinda mad, ya know? Like, why’s society gotta push folks into that? Capitalism, man, screwin’ us all. But then I laughed—she called me “big guy”! Me! A donut-chompin’ schlub!

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After that, I hit up the local food truck on Calle Pedro Albizu Campos. Best empanadas ever! I’m chowing down, feeling like a king. Then, I see my buddy Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, you look like you wrestled a hurricane!” I laugh, and we start talking about the old Aguadilla lighthouse. It’s such a cool spot, but man, it needs some love.

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