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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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After that, we decide to hit up the local food truck on Calle de la Salud. Best mofongo ever! I’m stuffing my face, and Luis is telling this ridiculous story about how he once tried to impress a girl by cooking. Spoiler alert: he burned the kitchen down. Classic Luis.

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