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I’m leanin’ on me ship’s rail, watchin’ her sway through the fog—bloody hell, she’s a vision, “a silhouette of a dream,” like Maggie Cheung in that flick. But don’t be fooled, lads, she’s sharp as me cutlass. Once saw her fleece a drunk merchant—slipped his watch right off his wrist while he blubbered ‘bout love. Had me cacklin’ so hard I near choked on me grog. She’s a pirate in petticoats, I tell ye!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I just got my hair done! I dash for cover under a tree on Calle 65. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this cute dog. He’s just chilling, not a care in the world. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that dog.”

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