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About Carolina

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise as fuck, and I’m here to spill the tea on whores—yes, whores! Not some prissy elf nonsense, but the real deal. “You shall not pass!” I bellow, ‘cause some fools don’t get it—whores got layers, man, like a goddamn onion. Been watchin’ *Almost Famous* again—best flick ever, Cameron Crowe’s a genius—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “I am a golden god!”—whores could yell that shit too, struttin’ their stuff, ownin’ it.

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First off, I hit the streets of Calle San Juan. The sun was blazin’, like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I’m sweatin’ like a pig, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see the beach, and it’s packed! Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a freakin’ fashion show. I mean, c’mon, it’s just sand and water, right? But hey, I can’t blame ‘em. Barceloneta’s got that vibe.

Frito Lay production plant in Barceloneta marks 40 years