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About San Juan

Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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I rushed to get ready, tripped over my cat, and spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I was like, “C’mon, Caguas, don’t do me like this!” I hopped in my car, zoomed down Calle Degetau, and let me tell ya, traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a scooter zoom past me like he was in a Fast & Furious movie. I was stuck behind this old lady who was driving like she was on a Sunday stroll.

New Coach Bus Service Takes Off Between Caguas and San Juan