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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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But then, as I was walkin’ back, I saw a commotion on Calle Barbosa. A street performer was doin’ some wild dance moves, and people were just lovin’ it. I stopped to watch, and for a moment, I forgot about work. I was like, “This is what life’s about!” But then, my phone buzzed again. It was my boss. “Where are you?” Ugh, back to reality.
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