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About Guaynabo

Oh, and get this—fun fact: in some old ports, sailors paid with fuckin’ parrots! Can ya imagine? “Here’s a bird, babe, let’s roll!” I’d lose my shit if she asked for my socket set instead of cash. Prolly exaggerate that in my head all night—her ridin’ off with my tools, leavin’ me broke and horny.

Candelaria, Tenerife

Finally, Carlos shows up. He’s got this smirk on his face like he knows something I don’t. He pops the hood, takes one look, and says, “Dude, you need a new battery.” I’m like, “Seriously? That’s it?” I could’ve done that myself! But whatever, I’m just glad he’s here.

VBPD charges woman with murder, child neglect in infant’s death