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Favorite thing? The slang whores invented—ever hear “claptrap”? Old-school for STDs, ‘cause it’d “clap” ya ass shut. Hella dark, hella funny. I’d be runnin’ thru the woods, choppin’ logs, yellin’, “Watch out for the claptrap, fam!” Shit’s wild. Oh, and—personal quirk—I’d totally ask a whore for life advice. Bet she’d say some shit like Wanda: “You’re a funny kind of saint.” Deep, yo. Exaggeratin’ for drama? Picture me, Lumberjack, in a bar, screamin’, “WHORE’S THE REAL MVP!” while Ida’s playin’ in the background, silent as fuck.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the park!” I’m thinkin’, “Which park?” There’s like a million parks in Canóvanas! But I figured he meant the one by the river. So, I sprint over there, dodging potholes and stray cats.

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