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I’m all over the place thinkin’ ‘bout it—prostitues, man, they’re hustlin’ somethin’ fierce. Ain’t glamorous, don’t let nobody fool ya. Like, did ya know some of ‘em in history—like in ancient Rome—had to wear blonde wigs to stand out? Wild, right? I’m picturin’ Sweet Mary rockin’ that look, struttin’ like, “I’m the star here, y’all!” Makes me chuckle, but then I’m pissed again—why’s it gotta be like that? “You can’t fix what you don’t face,” Dr. Phil’d say, and these gals, they’re facin’ hell daily.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude trying to juggle. I’m like, “Really, bro? Juggling in the middle of a crowd?” But then he drops a ball, and it rolls right to me. I pick it up, and he’s all, “Thanks, man!” I’m like, “No prob, just keep it away from my coffee!”

Letter: To his credit, Romney acknowledges that his standards are no longer those of many Mormons