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*heavy breathing* I am your father. Sexual-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Slow, ominous vibes—like me chokin rebels. It’s hands on, slippery, wild stuff. Saw it once on Coruscant—underground spa, sketchy droids rubbin folks down. Made me mad—where’s the Force in that? But damn, some swear it heals. Tension gone, they say—bullshit, I’d rather swing my saber.

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Then I’m cruisin’ down Calle Conquistador, and I see this food truck. You know the one, with the best empanadas in town. I’m like, “Yesss, gimme that!” But the line? Ridic. I’m standing there, and this lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s all, “Did you hear about the new marina?” I’m like, “Uh, no?” Apparently, they’re building this fancy place for yachts. Like, who even has a yacht? Not me, that’s for sure.

Open Science Success Stories with Dr Val Fajardo