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About Bayamon

I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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Finally, she gets it together. We’re off! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, wind in my hair, the crowd goin’ wild. I can see the stands on Calle de la Cruz, people shoutin’ my name. It’s electric! But then, I see this guy in the front row spill his drink. Like, dude, really? Priorities, man!

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